BLOGMAS #5 – Assholis Manipolatoris, why I don’t date assholes anymore and neither should you.

I’ve been on and off the dating scene for quite some time and, as a plus size and a serial monogamous person, I think I can say I’ve really seen it all. There is the cheeky bastard that thinks he can get into your pants just with his shit-eating grin; the virgin that thinks he can prey on your pity; the “I-want-it-all-but-I-don’t-want-commitment-but-only-on-my-side” kind of guy; and so on, but the most fucked up ” type of match” I’ve encountered so far has to be the asholis manipulatoris.

The assholis manipulatoris, or ” sly bastard ” as it’s commonly known, will lure you into a false sense of understanding and compatibility, they will be so absolutely smooth that you will find yourself in the middle of it way before you can realise what’s going on! You will be apologising to them for their mistakes, taking their sides even when they’re wrong, feeling bad for stuff that you love, and feel like you are exaggerating when you voice your opinion or a quarrel about something you feel mad about ( and rightly so). The sly bastard is selfish, self absorbed and cunning. Master of deception, will gaslight it’s victim making them start to doubt themselves and their reality. All the action will come from you, they will never lift a finger. You’ll find yourself revolving around their schedule and you’ll know that your time is not as important as their. You’ll never be enough for them.

Now, I know that’s terrifying, this chameleons are everywhere, hiding in plain sight in the form of nice guys and adorable girls ( or cool nonbinarys) ( or fabulous genderfluids), but don’t you fret:  Only the purebloods can trick you into properly giving your soul for them and even then if you know where to look you’ll manage to run as far away as possible before they become dangerous.


Pro tip:
” wow you are really passionate about this…”
Could be an amazing phrase, but if it’s said in a patronizing way is the exact hopposite of healthy! No one should feel like something they are excited about is shit or not worthy the time of the day! So, how can you tell? Well, If it makes you want to apologise about something – anything- that makes you happy… Boi bye!

There is also to say, that in the see of their empty “I’m sorry”, the sly bastard is an easily recognisable creature; their disguise will make you do a double take, sure, but if you are looking for the signs they are easy to spot! Just look for the complete disregard of any type of value in your time as opposed to the absolute gold of theirs, there, you are done!

Also, plus size babes, don’t worry! The major part of the ones that populates our corner of the dating world are a rather weak and mixed specimen, living in the false assumption that we’ll take shreds of attention from left and right and we’ll treat it like gold and diamond because, obviously, we are all terrified of dying spinsters. No surprise here when I say that they are wrong. soooo wrong! We are smart, capable, sassy and have the biggest heart! we believe and we want to give everybody the benefict of the doubt, sure! But, that’s all! we are loved and we are worth so, so much more than what the sly bastard would like us to think!

remember guys: you are valid! your time is valid, your work is valid, your passions are valid, your feelings are valid, your anger is valid, your dreams are valid, your self-care is worthy and you are amazing! 


In the end, I’m not really sure where I was going with this post, it’s just a rant, but it’s also something new and pressing? I think, all in all, I just thought that maybe this could help someone in a similar situation, someone that hasn’t gone through as many assholes as I did, and that doesn’t know where to look as far as red flags go.
Also, sometimes you just need someone to tell you that, yes! This is absolutely a valid reason to send someone to fuck off!

I don’t know, would you like to know more about this? To have more dating stuff on the blog?

27 Comments

    1. Is wanting a healthy relationship and avoiding assholes raging feminism? Damn then I might be and proudly so! If you like a mentally abusive guy tho, feel free to take the ones that I reject while I hang with emotionally stable men that don’t need to destroy my self worth in order to feel like a “ REAL MAN”! enjoy!

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      1. I’m not saying you shouldn’t comment, I’m just saying that you are on my blog and you’ll probably end up getting an indigestion of lefty libtard buzzwords!

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      2. I work in a place where I see kids in drag and transsexual and non binary kids all the time, you are not really bothering me with your transphobia, just making a sham of yourself 🤷🏼‍♀️

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      3. How do people who actually think this feminist crap is healthy function in life as adults? I hope you didn’t go to uni bc they fucked you out of a lot of money if you did. Btw to all feminazis, the glasses aren’t fooling anyone. You don’t get to make up words because you’re wearing glasses. And no one wanted to rape you without them either so you better just be really hard of seeing.

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      4. AHAHAHAHHAHA I REALLY WANTED TO ANSWER TO THIS BUT THIS IS JUST too fucking funny ahahhahahhahahahah you are killing me here, you should do commedy!

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      5. “TRANSPHOBIIIIIIIIIIC!!!!!! REEEEEE REEEEEE! TRANSPHOBIC TRIGGERING CIS SCUM!!!! FUCK ALL WHITE MALE CISGENDER TRANSPHOBIC HATESPEECH REEEE REEEEEEEEEE”

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      6. Then you’ll be really proud to know that at night I touch myself while watching the Rachel Maddow show and eating my weight in cheeseballs because no man will ever want to look at let alone marry me

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      7. To be honest, if that’s what makes you tick, you should go for it! I’m always proud when someone follows their dreams!

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      8. Oh, I am! A raging one at that too! I never said I hate men, that’s your thinking and your assumption, I just never thought you deserved my energy into correcting your ideas… I mean, if the world hasn’t knocked some sense into you by now, who am I to do so? I’m just here having fun seeing you all crossed and going on on an issue that isn’t even there! It’s a no-brainer, let people do what they like and what they want and what they feel! In Italy we call it farsi una padella di cazzi propri! You should try! Also, again, it’s funny since the article is not about men, but again…

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