Hi, I’m Jess and all my friends are in happy, healthy and committed relationships.
I can’t even say it sucks because it doesn’t! I’m grateful for the people that they are with and for the happiness they share, for the example they set and the position they have in my life. 

I’m a Libra, settle is naturally my second name. My friends are the ones to thank when it comes to the high standards that I now have and their ability to remain strong in place. But it’s not only that, no. I have to thank them for never making me feel like the fifth one out, for appreciating me for me – as a person – and not as the half of something that it’s not there. They don’t see fault in my singletude, they see a bright person that is part of their life ( I hope).
It’s also to say that it’s thanks to the total absence of ” we need to find you someone”  and ” when you’ll have what we have you’ll understand” That I have the confidence and the absolute strength to love me first. It’s thanks to people like my friends that I don’t put my self worth in other people: if there is no one there to romance me, I’m still valid and still fabulous.
Sure, it’s also their absolute fault that I do crave a partner and that – after everything –  I still believe in love! But it’s a healthy crave, one that speaks of want and not need, of companionship and laughter; and of liking them for who they are and how they slot right in with me. It’s thanks to them that I don’t try to change, to bend and do the same to the first bastard that likes me back. You can’t complete a puzzle just pushing pieces together because you want them to go where they don’t belong. 

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So, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for Silvia and Julia that are goofy and loving. For Alice and Josh that are surprising and understanding, and I’m thankful for every other coupled friend I have because, without you, my life would probably be both hopeless and miserable: I fall too easily and too quickly. I give my all in the hope that someone out there will reach back with the same amount, for that lucky shot. And I might be a hopeless romantic, but thanks to their example and support I know when to walk away, when what it’s happening doesn’t resemble what I want or deserve. My friends collect the pieces, they never judge but always uplift and comfort me. They just want me to be happy. With myself and/or with someone else, and thanks to them I feel like it’s ok for me to want it too.

Yeah, thank you again coupled friends, for our standards; to give us single something to aim to ( if we feel like it), to let us remember that we deserve a honeymoon period, a text a day, flowers just because, respect, punctuality and reciprocations; tiny notes, sleepy calls and a lot of laughter. We deserve better, and we will have better. Sooner or later.

Finally, fellow singles, keep on looking, never settle! At least not for someone that makes you feel anything less than your own better self. And if your coupled friends show you red flags, trust them and run for the hills, You are the one that matter and you won’t be alone, they’ll be there for you, to pick up the pieces.

 

Happy valentine & galentine day guys!!!
I’m trying a new theme on IG this week,
come and tell me what you think, will you?


pin me!¬

 

I’ve been in London a bit more than 3 years and for the past 3 years I’ve spent Christmas on my own, at the beginning it was refreshing, it still is I guess, my family at home is… pretty full-on Christmas-wise, My mother is obsessed with this holiday, my entire family gets together and the day is a run of passive aggressiveness, hints at my weight and my being single first from my mother side of the family and later from my dad’s part of it! That day leaves me always anxious and upset so for the first two years curling up with a book on my own, in silence in a bed made with new linens and the fireplace app on my laptop was simply a gift to myself from myself. It helped also that for the past two years my mental health hadn’t been at its peak, isolating myself and recharging seemed like the best idea and it was! Really!
This year, however, I found myself in need to get out, to do things, to enjoy the holidays! I tried so hard during the run to that day to feel Christmas as I usually do and it wasn’t until the 19 that I started doing so! Oh, Christmas spirit come and hit me square in the face, please! I knew that the Christmas party with the secret Santa would’ve done the trick and I was not disappointed ( my secret Santa got me a Filofax! Can you believe it!?)!

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Once I was in the Christmas spirit and yule was behind me I decided that I, for sure, needed to accept my friends invite this year and spend at least one day with them! We decided to celebrate Christmas eve as I would’ve already been out for work and on Christmas public transports are nonexistent! Let me start with saying I never had more fun. I don’t do other people’s places or mine for what is worth, Lately, I’ve limited myself to meet my friends in cafés, cinemas and so on! So I had never been at Silvia’s even if a while ago she moved a lot nearer to me!  ( I don’t like new things or changes, can you guys tell? )

So, yeah, me and my half-made vegan shepherds pie ( of which I’ll write the recipe soon on the blog) made our way to my friend’s house and a few glasses of wine, several trips made by S. to the store, three Christmas playlists, five forks lost, two way-too-sharp knives  and four baking trays later,  we were laughing and enjoying the amazing food that mainly Julia had prepared  ( that woman does know how to make a mean steak)! I just love my friends so much and I love being around them, I just forget how comfortable and amazing it is just to chat and linger around, how adorable is getting to tickle each other or mock one another, how judge free is to open up with them and how undoubtedly you can feel at home just doing a movie marathon or drinking mulled wine and just relax basking in each other laughter. Anxiety, depression, self-consciousness, over thinking and laziness stops me way too many times to spend time with the people I care about, to reach out, keep in touch and just be together for the sake of it. In 2019 I want to be better at this, to remember more often how it feels to leave from a night like that with a stupid smile on my face and knowing that the world has people like Silvia and Julia, but also people like  Alice, Josh, Bethan and Marta ( yay, shout-outs!) in it! People so amazing, talented, open, forgiving, patient, understanding, creative, witty, funny, warm and spectacular and that I’m so so so lucky that I can call them my friends is the best Christmas present I can ever ask for.

So Happy Holidays, Happy Blogmas, I love you all!